The Takeover

In an attempt to show my true excitement/odd obsession with this movie, I’m just gonna write. No editing. Completely stream of consciousness blogging. I don’t even know where to start.

Purple Rain. The Movie. Prince.

I’ve alluded to it in an interview here or there. However, I don’t think those who know me simply for music understand how creepily obsessed I am with this movie, besides my closest friends. I am gonna tell some secrets here and there. I don’t care. Thanks to @LoveTiana on twitter, I found last minute inspiration for this week’s blog.

I should tell you how this shit started. Yea. When I was 5 years old or so, my Mom had a closet that was stacked full of VHS movies on the shelf. I would always stare up there lookin for somethin to watch. I was also 5′8 as a 5 year old, so I’d get the movies for myself. The ones that caught my eye: Batman, Lady & The Tramp, and this white and purple tape with flowers all over it and a guy with curly hair and beautiful eyes sitting on a purple motorcycle. Im not gay. Just observant. #PrinceGotPrettyEyes.

Fast Forward to 9 or something. This was the “i just wanna see boobies” year. I knew that purple video was Rated R, and I knew it was Prince at this age. I also knew Prince was slaying bad bitches left & right, so I checked it out. I use to fast forward the whole tape until I saw Appollonia’s boobs. I did nothing else. I just wanted to see her boobs.

Fast Forward to Soph Year at Pepperdine. I had never actually seen Purple Rain. One of my fraternity brothers was a musical nerd, and of course he owned the Purple Rain vinyls AND the movie. We were all drinking at his house, before the party we were throwing, where we would drink more, and we decided to watch this movie.

Oh. My. God.

When people ask me what’s so great about this movie, the best way I can sum it up is that “it’s so bad….that its GREAT.” It really is in my top 5 favorite movies. Prince probably has 30 lines in the entire movie. There are so many things that happen in this movie that are hilarious/can’t happen IRL (in real life, props to @sabrinadunn for the slang). Off top. Ill just name some shit. Sorry if you haven’t seen it. And if you have, laugh hysterically with me.

Prince having a motorcycle in his dressing room in the basement of a club (how?). Prince talking to his band through hand puppets. Prince fucking a speaker and causing Appollonia to run away and cry. Prince taking her earring, and keeping that shit. Prince leaving her buttnaked in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. Prince saying “lay off that”. Prince’s sex scene. Morris Day throwing a girl in a dumpster. Prince getting the shit slapped out of him by his dad. Prince slapping his girl. Prince playing Appollonia a song with nothing but snares, toms, and orgasms.

I can go all day. This is completely stream of thought. Sorry its so unorganized.

I actually watch this movie with any girl im “talking to”. It tells me all that I need to know about her by watching her reactions. I’m serious.

I probably lost alot of friends with this post. DGAF. It’s something you needed to know about me. I try to watch the movie once a month, I’ve been slacking. I’m actually gonna go watch it right now. And if you ever wanna see it, let me know. Ill bring the DVD over and pop your Purple cherry. Or grape.

-’Sport