The Takeover

JANSPORT JIGGA….or KATE DA GR8 WHO WAS IN G.A.TE.: THE TRUTH ABOUT BEYONCE by Sport

Twitter is da bomb (c) 1996. I’ve met some super interesting people through that network, including some people who make me feel like I’m not alone in the world with my random ass thoughts. One of these people is none other than @Kate_Starr. You should all follow her. Guys, she’s a cute white girl. Girls, she talks about fashion, food and sex. I expect to see her at 1,000 followers by the end of the week.

Anyways, we talk on AIM from time to time. Yea, it’s gettin serious. Every conversation we have, I joke about posting our convo on the interwebs for the whole world to see. They were honestly empty threats, until the topic of my beloved Beyonce came up. What transpired was so damn funny…yet feasible. Ladies and Gentlehoes, Kate’s ground-breaking theory on all that is…Beyonce. (As a guide, ill put the quotes in bold that damn near made me piss myself)

SportToThaJan (1:42:21 AM): beyonce is the devil, and im okay with it
kate starrrr (1:42:28 AM): beyonce is a fembot
kate starrrr (1:42:32 AM): from austin powers
kate starrrr (1:42:39 AM): nobody has figured out that shes not human
kate starrrr (1:42:39 AM): cept me
kate starrrr (1:42:42 AM): cuz im fuckin good
SportToThaJan (1:42:50 AM): what tipped you off
kate starrrr (1:43:00 AM): first of all her outfits ok
kate starrrr (1:43:01 AM): dude
kate starrrr (1:43:13 AM): bondage leos 24/7?
kate starrrr (1:43:21 AM): and her nipples give me the impression they will shoot
kate starrrr (1:43:23 AM): and her hair
kate starrrr (1:43:38 AM): its like unbeWEAVEaby good
SportToThaJan (1:43:48 AM): *dead*
kate starrrr (1:43:51 AM): and her vow to silence,
kate starrrr (1:43:54 AM): her lack of babies
SportToThaJan (1:43:55 AM): her nipples give me the impression…
kate starrrr (1:44:01 AM): even tho a bitch is gettin ripe and shit
kate starrrr (1:44:20 AM): and um the fact that she did give the ill na na to jay z cuz of course financially they will rule this earth
kate starrrr (1:44:21 AM): duh
kate starrrr (1:44:23 AM): its like
kate starrrr (1:44:27 AM): this bitch is a fuckin alien
SportToThaJan (1:44:29 AM): i havent saved a conversation in years, i might have to break that tonite with your beyonce explanation
kate starrrr (1:44:41 AM): she hypnotizes our society with crumping
kate starrrr (1:44:46 AM): lmao
SportToThaJan (1:44:54 AM): dead dead dead
kate starrrr (1:45:31 AM): her whole fam knows shes an alien
kate starrrr (1:45:37 AM): her mom is one too most likely
kate starrrr (1:45:38 AM): her dad isnt
kate starrrr (1:45:43 AM): thats why he got a side bitch
kate starrrr (1:45:52 AM): and thats why solange had a kid when she was like 18
SportToThaJan (1:46:06 AM): this is too much
kate starrrr (1:46:54 AM): dont you think its weird that she has single handedly swept the nation of our mens eyes, AND females too?
kate starrrr (1:47:04 AM): its like that alien trick will make a bitch turn lesbian
SportToThaJan (1:47:09 AM): my eyes are opening
kate starrrr (1:47:11 AM): that aint right
kate starrrr (1:47:17 AM): she MUST be alien
kate starrrr (1:47:30 AM): and also…she is always in St. Tropez
SportToThaJan (1:47:34 AM): and i would still fuck the gears and bolts out of that fembot
kate starrrr (1:47:36 AM): like why you always gotta be over there
kate starrrr (1:47:44 AM): cuz you hiding shit!
kate starrrr (1:47:49 AM): cuz youre an alien!
kate starrrr (1:48:01 AM): whatever happened to staying in your country?
kate starrrr (1:48:14 AM): ILLEGAL ALIEN
SportToThaJan (1:48:20 AM): dead dead
kate starrrr (1:48:24 AM): her red voo doo dresses
kate starrrr (1:48:45 AM): american apparel is where she gets all her energy
kate starrrr (1:48:56 AM): she goes there and buys every leo and channels “sasha fierce”
kate starrrr (1:49:09 AM): bitch had to make up an alter ego to make her look a lil crazy

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